i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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