Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My vagina just recognized that song.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize