I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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