So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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