There r osticjed everywhere
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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