the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
