I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
