too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
