on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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