Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
