Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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