It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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