it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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