I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
