she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
