I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
