Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
what day is it and did you see me today?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
