so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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