It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
