I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
