ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
