sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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