I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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