god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
