so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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