he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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