38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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