this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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