is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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