took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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