The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
