Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
how does that bad decision feel?
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