I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize