did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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