You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I know her cup size but not her name....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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