Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
