I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
