i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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