any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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