remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
