WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
