that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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