there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
