yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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