Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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