Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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