Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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