funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize