I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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