I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
