I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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