3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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