Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
