look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
