brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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