apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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