I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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