PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
