soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
