He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
