you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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