Dual....:-)
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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