You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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