Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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