Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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