I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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