I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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