I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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