He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
