Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
